Good Girl Healing
The intersection of purity culture survivor and romance reader - where the 'good girls' find ourselves
Reading fictional relationships with exposed sexual dynamics ripped open my mind and heart. I can’t understate how these “tasteless, pornographic reads,” as critics call them, allowed me the safe space to explore my sexuality, my sensuality, and my very soul. This internal dialogue sparked an inner intimacy of thought and non-judgment that I had never allowed myself. I started to read romance books as a break amongst the personal development genre and something profound occurred.
Romance empowered me to reflect on my own experiences of love and sex. This was truly when the tie of self-worth being linked to my sexual purity began to unravel. And so did I.
This elemental shift in self-view has been fundamental to my identity. In translating my own healing and writing, smut has granted me a holy irreverent, fun, snarky and completely authentic voice to permeate my Guidebooks for Good Girls. I have found healing in spaces where the psychological connections between erotic reading and the sexual trauma that occurs when you grow up believing your virtue is your value are realized. You will pry my cliterature from my cold, dead hands, and like a fated lover, I will find it in the next lifetime.
Romance empowered me to reflect on my own experiences of love and sex. This was truly when the tie of self-worth being linked to my sexual purity began to unravel. And so did I.
This elemental shift in self-view has been fundamental to my identity. In translating my own healing and writing, smut has granted me a holy irreverent, fun, snarky and completely authentic voice to permeate my Guidebooks for Good Girls. I have found healing in spaces where the psychological connections between erotic reading and the sexual trauma that occurs when you grow up believing your virtue is your value are realized. You will pry my cliterature from my cold, dead hands, and like a fated lover, I will find it in the next lifetime.
How can I move towards healing my Good Girl identity?
Healing begins when we shed the shame. No one stops believing in their God and instantly believes in themselves. Shame disables words. Shame silences and as such is used as a weapon in cults. We must shed the shame to find ourselves. The work is painful, healing sometimes hurts and the costs can be high (find out how I know) but the outcome is priceless. You are worth it. Let me show you how to do the work of reconstructing the authentic you.
Belief in self becomes real when we invite self trust into our innate goodness. When we restore our identity every single thing in life becomes better, easier. We no longer have to react, play a role or live up to someone else's expectations. When we know who we are, we no longer seek that understanding externally. I no longer perform who I am in life, no longer act for attention or love, and as a result some previously in the audience, no longer have seats.
Belief in self becomes real when we invite self trust into our innate goodness. When we restore our identity every single thing in life becomes better, easier. We no longer have to react, play a role or live up to someone else's expectations. When we know who we are, we no longer seek that understanding externally. I no longer perform who I am in life, no longer act for attention or love, and as a result some previously in the audience, no longer have seats.